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emotional problems

I used to have too many emotional problems as a kid.

My parents split up when I was born, albeit never got divorced.

She wanted to have an abortion, but he locked her down so that she didn´t.

What for?

I had athlete´s feet out of stress.  Stress rashes in the hands.

I woke up in the middle of the night with night terrors.  They had to slap my in the face so that I stopped crying and yelling, even when apparently my eyes were already open and I was up.

Was bullied at school because my dad went to jail charged with fraud, and my mother had to work as an escort, after having behaved as a new rich, stuck up wife for years.

scissors family broken ptsd treatment sd

scissors family broken ptsd treatment sd

 

Ours was the definition of a broken family.  My four grandparents had divorced too, so the whole family tree was a disaster.

I don´t know how I managed to end up addicted to heroin, crack or a combination of drugs.  However, I have been flirting with alcohol for years.  I had a couple of panic attacks.  I´ve had obsessive compulsive behaviors since junior high school, which only got worse after the Covid-19 outbreak.  I cannot stop washing my hands.

All these emotional problems also affected my personal relationships, including work.  I became oversensitive to criticism, a perfectionist, and due to that, a serial procrastinator.  

Being shifted from one school to the next one, in different cities, of course did not help.  The instability only increased the mountain of emotional problems.

Have I developed a mental illness, after years of not fully becoming a drug addict, but not exactly a sober person either?  What is the best kind of therapy to deal with emotional collapse?