Post-Pandemic Goal: Smile like the Cheshire Cat
Who doesn´t want to look smarter, younger, huggable or more competent on a Zoom meeting?
I used to fantasize with Second Life. I spent hours pretending to breed cats. My goal was to breed one as interesting as the smiley one in Alice and Wonderland. I live in a tiny apartment, so bringing this plan to action was not feasible. However, and after the Texas judge zoom filter incident, I came up with the idea of releasing our own, innermost kitten personalities and display them with as much joy and elegance.
At every Zoom meeting, one participant will be able to turn on a filter and “hide” behind it, not having to worry about dark circles in the eyes, or a stern look due to the lockdown.
The rest will show themselves as the boring, tired and burnt out humans we have become, and let the conference continue. The Covid-19 pandemic has worn most of us down so bad, that many will embrace the idea to join the feline kingdom.
By the end of it, everyone will yowl, and the “cat” will judge which human achieved the most realistic meow.
Gosh! I´ve been craving so much for a catharsis, so I don´t even know what nonsense I am saying…
In my second life, the one that started during the first lockdown, I am hypnotized by the smooth pace of the kittens bred at my “farm”. I let my mustache grow, hoping to increase my sense of orientation and balance, so that I don’t stumble while shopping at the supermarket. As I try to avoid the crowds without face masks, grabbing the bags and getting the keys to my house from my pocket without dropping the food -all at the same time-, I thank my mustache for keeping the balance.
I look forward to mutate into an animal that has the ability to vanish slowly by sections, just like the cat Alice bumps into. My fingers, my brains and my feet would remain here, by the desktop. But my throat, mouth and nose would disappear at the sight of danger of infection.
No cat muzzle keeps the virus out!
I become a world-renown cat breeder. I survive the pandemic, and I get out of the second life with a broad grin and increased wisdom.
By Gabriel McCoyssa