I am a Cat  (and lovin’ it)

I enjoy staying in because I want to.  My humans let me sleep all day.  They feed me, cuddle me, and when I am fed up with them because they want my full attention, I just walk away and sit on top of the cupboard or go upstairs and hide in the attic. In the night, sometimes I sneak out and go on week long expeditions.  Since the Covid-19 outbreak, we are more relaxed wandering without being bothered.  The streets are emptier.  The bars and shops close early, or don’t open at all.  

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Cats’ Sexual Life

I get laid very often, and enjoy the mating cries, or long sequences of trill-meows and used by female cats in heat when they want to attract me.  They turn me on, and so I meow and screech very loud, louder than my master’s women on his TV or laptop.  If my potential queen is not in heat, I will keep looking for one over the rooftops, or in backyards.  Most queens try to mate as much as 4 times in a couple of days, and they might be ready to mate again in as little as half an hour, when they may start yowling to attract us again.  

Cats usually aren’t picky about who comes to mate when they are ready, so it’s common for Queens to mate with several of us if someone besides me is available. I am not jealous either. A single litter of kittens may have several fathers. But since our masters play the parental role, we just get the fun part. Yes, we are very lucky. 

Humans are annoyed of our sexual, noisy activity.  

We purr out of Joy

However, they seem to very much appreciate our purr vibrations at 21-140 HZ. Apparently, our vibrations have positive effects on their systems. I am a purr artist, so they love me even more.  I have overhead that they think we purr out of joy when they pet us.  But it is actually the other way round.  We make the effort to make them happy.  But they are sometimes reluctant to admit that we are grateful felines, and we really want to please them.  Not like those rude and silly dogs who can’t stop wagging their tales, but in a more subtle and profound way.  

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When we are truly ticked off and don´t want to be messed with, we just hiss and scare the hell out of human or feline strangers. 

No lockdowns, Nor Curfews for Cats

If we get bored, we just run away and roam around. Curfews and lockdowns don’t affect us. My bare teeth, my arched back and flattened ears are all we need to express discomfort. No sarcasm, no passive-aggressiveness. Just plain, cat body language. 

Last week, my human mother moved to a new house close to the beach.  It looks like a hotel, because there are many other people staying in a huge and beautiful house. Apparently, she’ll stay they to recover from all those pills and drinks she had during Christmas.  She says I am lucky that they new “landlords” will let me stay with her.  I think she is the lucky one.  What would she do with me, in that mansion full of humans?  Without booze, , tobacco, needles nor that expensive white powder or the enormous fridge that she used to visit in the middle of the night…

Do you remember that silly video which went viral, in which a lawyer denied being a cat despite we all clearly saw the shape of a grey cat, but with a human voice?  Wanna know what I think?

They guy was overtly a Cat wanna-be…  He coveted our lifestyle so much, that he ended up projecting his deep wish by showing his feline self to his audience.  I mean, who wants to go to court when you can roam around and visit every neighbor’s rooftop?