Why Is Everyone Obsessed with Being Thin?
I’m a skinny person. I don’t mean to be, and I certainly don’t try to be; I am. It’s a certitude of my life, and it’s something that everyone around me senses the need to comment on. We are a skinny-obsessed civilization, and it is notorious.
Individuals make comments about how much weight I’ve lost since bearing kids. Some say pleasant things, others say harsh things masked as praises, and others make naive commentaries, not realizing I’m crouching a little inside.
Let me ask you this: How am I assumed to answer when somebody says, “you are so thin!” or “you don’t look like you’ve had multiple children!”
Do I say “thank you” and look like an arrogant slim-body-obsessed person? Do I try to laugh it off? Should I try to blame it on living in a 3rd level flat and having to haul my kids and groceries up two flights of stairs numerous times a day? I can’t say, “oh, I don’t even try to lose weight” (though that’s the truth) because then I seem arrogant… It’s an overall uncomfortable circumstance that I’m encountered frequently.
I usually chuckle and explain that my body adjusted after bearing youngsters, but this usually doesn’t work. People go on and on about my tininess and frequently their lack of it; there is just no good way for me to partake in that conversation.
I do weigh less than I did before I got pregnant with my first infant, and the fact is, I don’t intend to. I don’t desire this. I must perform hard to maintain my weight. It’s not the situation that most ladies struggle with, but it is still a concern. Constantly hearing things like “you are so small” or “wow, it doesn’t even look like you had a kid” gets repetitious.
I know that most individuals intend these words as praises, so I do my best to let them slide (though I’m still bewildered at what a suitable answer could be).
Truthfully though? In my life, I’ve faced an enormous struggle with eating “topics.” I’ll never know for sure if I had a clinical eating disorder because I never pursued medical aid for it, but let’s say it was a common thing for me to find myself at the end of the day remembering I hadn’t eaten. I’m beyond that now, but I still don’t “relish” dining the way an average someone would. I still must remind myself to consume three meals a day, and I try to sip shakes between meals to preserve body weight. There are numerous motives that I’ll never be a food-obsessed person (none of them have to do with my weight), but even when eating decently, I don’t gain weight.
When people make remarks about my body, they have no way of knowing how disheartened I am that none of my pants will remain snug anymore. They have no idea how difficult it is for me to remember to eat or how much I was desperately hoping that I was doing better and gaining weight. They don’t mean any disservice, but harm comes anyway.
I’ve slowly become okay with my constantly receiving comments in the past few months. They don’t usually damage anymore; I understand why they are articulated, and I don’t let it get to me. But I’m still perplexed that, although everyone knows that you shouldn’t say the weight of a plus size girl, people appear to assume that a skinny girl’s weight is okay to debate loudly and publicly.
So, I felt it might help comprehend that telling someone she’s “so slim” is not always the praise you plan to be. Periodically, that slender girl is attempting to gain weight, and it can be disheartening to hear because it’s like you’re telling her she’s a failure.
Perhaps instead of remarking on a girl’s size (regardless of if she is slim, moderate, or plus size), we could all start commenting on her attractiveness, or even more reasonable, her personality.
“You are a kind friend.”
“You look amazing today.”
“I love those clothes.”
“You speak with such knowledge.”
“that’s a nice color on you.”
“I love your attitude.”
“I value your opinion.”
Use expressions like those above that genuinely praise the individual instead of inwardly analogizing them to people in the space and driving them to feel uncomfortable.
I want to be healthy and have healthy body weight, but can we please stop drawing attention to thin people? I am more than my skinniness, and for that case, skinny doesn’t invariably mean healthy.
I used to work in a lofty clothes store where ladies of all sizes shopped. Some of them would make statements like, “this brand makes clothes for real ladies,” and there I was, entirely too little for the entire collection. I’m 40, size 0, and I pledge I’m a genuine woman.
As you said, most people have positive purposes, and their words are innocently spoken. All we can do is grin and accept them anyway.
Even though I explained here that I am not obsessed with being thin, I’ll tell you why I think people are obsessed with being skinny.
- At La Jolla Recovery, we have helped people overcome their mental health disorders with science-based treatment including obsessions with the body, eating, and behavior in general as well as other disorders. Reach out and give us a call.
You were losing weight and diet! When you are with other women, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re accomplishing, these topics always come up in discussion, and you can debate them for hours at a time, and the social pressure is intense.
Why are ladies apprehensive about picking up weight from eating? Why do you continuously ask your partners if your body looks large in your clothes? Whether it’s anorexia, bulimia, or any other disorder, look for help.
Go to any fitness center today, talk to the young ladies who exercise regularly, or ask a yoga or gym instructor about their clients’ common complaints. They will say that women frequently believe in losing body weight and staying thin like celebrities.
- Do you have compounded issues with substance use disorders such as alcohol and need support to attend addiction or mental health? Wondering if inpatient or outpatient is the right decision?.
These may appear like worthless questions to the average individual, but is it? Is the answer as straightforward as we interpret it to be?
Sometimes it isn’t, but the real question that we need to ask ourselves is: Women, do you even know why you are self-conscious about your bodies?