What is codependency? 

Merriam Webster defines it as follows:

A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (such as an addiction to alcohol or heroin).

Wikipedia‘s definition: 

Codependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.^[1] Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity. Codependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.^[1] Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.

Have issues with codependence in a relationship?

It commonly feels that they are rescuing the person from something or someone.

When the codependent feels that the other does not respond as they wish, they become depressed and frustrated and start trying more fervently to control the other. Helping others mistakenly leads them to believe that they need them and that is why they will never abandon them, even if this leads them to suffer bad treatment, humiliation, and even physical violence. 

Some symptoms of codependency can be:

• having a controlling or manipulative behavior
• being a perfectionist
• distrustful
• protective behavior
• exaggerated addiction to watching the lives of others.

It is common for codependency to be accompanied by depression since the codependent collapses in frustration at their inability to make changes in the life of another person.

It is difficult for the codependent to move away from a sick relationship, however terrible and insane it may be since it confuses that obsession with immense love. To initiate the recovery process, it is essential to accept this condition in our life. Later, we act to change the way we live and thus not re-generate codependence in other people or future relationships.

Recovery is simple, possibly not easy, but simple. Every individual’s solution and basis are in these six words:  EVERY PERSON IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEMSELVES. We need to detach from others, allow others to be as they are, have their own experiences, and learn to be responsible and mature.  Break free! Do not try to change something that you cannot and should not, because life is individual and we must all stumble to learn and become strong. Live your own life, you have the responsibility to solve your problems, identify your needs, and meet them.

To face codependence is to learn to master the control of emotions.

When facing codependence, you get the freedom to choose who to interact with, recover your life and focus your new decisions on YOUR wellbeing: now the most important thing for you is you. You are responsible for the choices you make, for setting goals and achieving them. There are many things you don’t know about yourself.

Take time to know yourself.

You are more valuable than you think. Enjoy your presence. Remember that you are never alone because you have yourself.