How to deal with the guilt of having Anxiety
When we identify with anxiety, we reach conclusions about ourselves that are not true. We value ourselves based on it and this, causes us to suffer. To get out of that state it is important to learn to deal with the guilt that exists in anxiety.
Guilt is an emotion that appears a lot in our lives. It begins when we believe we have done, thought or felt something bad. From here we begin to judge and reject ourselves. It is important to begin to open ourselves to the idea that most of our thoughts and beliefs do not belong to us, but that we have been keeping them to feel loved and accepted by our loved ones and society.
You can start researching and identifying where your emotions come from so you can do something about it. In my case, I was able fo find that in the extent to which I find myself demanding is because deep down there is guilt and I need to forgive myself.
Phrases like: “I shouldn’t feel that way.” “I shouldn’t think this or it should be different,” can give you some clues about how the requirement relates to guilt and connects with your mood and actions.
When we are in the process of anxiety, the guilt intensifies generating much wear and increasing the tunnel vision in which we magnify the discomfort.
Everything we do either consciously or unconsciously has a profit for us. As we say here “we do not stitch without thread”, and in the case of guilt could not be less. Many of us have grown up with beliefs that we have to be in a certain way to be loved, but what happens when we don’t want to be that way or rather, when we aren’t like that. We repress those parts of us. We hide them so that others continue to love and accept us. We force ourselves to be what we are not and in that sense guilt “protects us.” We hide what makes us authentic because we have believed that if we show it, we will be “bad or inadequate” and will not love us.
Do you have your tastes and needs identified? In my case it was very difficult for me to decide and be clear about what I wanted in my life. When I realized that I could begin to understand that I had dedicated myself to hiding many parts of me and the challenge was to recover them little by little.
The way I could transform guilt was identifying my needs so that I could cover them myself. Tannia V.
We need to stop blaming ourselves and start identifying our needs.
When I realized that the way I faced fears was not working and that I felt worse and worse, I stopped. I started to connect with what I needed at every moment. If I saw that the sensations increased, it gave me permission to retire to feel what I was feeling to try again the next day. Since the experience was no longer so traumatic, I could see how it progressed until I succeeded.
I needed to undo plans and look bad with people to give me what I was asking. This part was not easy because I felt totally exposed and vulnerable to what they would say. However, today I am extremely grateful to have done it because it has brought me closer to myself. Instead of feeling guilty about how I was feeling, I began to feel proud of how I was treating myself. In this way I was regaining confidence in me. I was beginning to feel that I could give myself what I needed and that I could feel safe with myself. By feeling safe with you you can regain confidence to go back into the world.
Start by identifying and recording all those assessments you have made about yourself based on anxiety. Those conclusions you have reached when you have felt guilty. Curiously investigate where all those requirements you have set yourself come from. Attend the emotions that appear and start giving you what you need. If needing further support or anxiety therapy, don’t forget there is a professional out there to help.